Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. There are moments when we don't know if we're dreaming or not. Sometimes someone says something so jarring and wild, that you really lose your conscious balance and need to recenter. It's even worse if it happens in front of a bunch of people at a wedding.
The embarrassment that can come from family is unyielding to reality checks. Sometimes you don't know where they found the audacity and confidence to expel something so heinous from their lips, and especially in front of others! It's no wonder you've kept your distance from them. Speaking ill of people behind their back is one thing, but speaking ill of them in front of their face and others, well it's a different ballpark. A wedding can be instantly ruined in moments of embarrassment, especially when everyone at the wedding is on board.
There's one thing all of these toasts have in common (other than their obscenity). All of these hideously inappropriate toasts were made by men, go figure, many of which were divorced afterwards. But read it for yourself for full laughter.